That's Not Violent Enough For Me

The Dream Series...in continuation

#2

5-22-07

The dresses had lace on them. I can’t remember why, but I wanted to rip them to shreds as they swirled, danced, and sparkled in the sunlight as it passed through the early morning and the window, or it floated underneath the moonlight. Somehow it all made sense, that the air smelled salty and felt warm, even though I was standing on a dark mountain top, feeling my nose redden and my toes curl from the chill. Two different parts of me want different things, and eight different parts of me want the same man who has always haunted the mountaintop/beach dream filled with cheesecake-loving whores. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, even when prada shoes are left on the base of a locker room floor. Maybe I was wrong to hide them…or maybe I did her a huge favor.

The Dream Series

I am about to commence what shall henceforth be referred to as, the dream series. If you hate yourself enough to read this, you should understand, most importantly, that none of this happened. These are the mere playful mutterings of my crazily confused subconscious. It is also important to take note of the date. Many of these dreams occurred up to two years ago. Take these to more significantly mean…whatever you choose.

The Dream Series

#1

5-21-07

Somewhere East of Eden I spoke Russian in Bulgaria, and when I came upon a red and yellow house, Eleonora was inside. I asked her ‘Where’s Kacey?’ and she said that he was about 3000 miles East of here. I ran, swam and flew. Somewhere between Sandburg and Steinbeck I found him, eating a sandwich in a harshly lit cafeteria with a fat shirtless white man named Boy George. He had a hat, too. ‘Where’s Randy?’ I asked him, and he told me Mexico. So I walked and when I lifted the sombrero in the dark, drug-filled alley I found him. But he asked me, ‘are you here for your check?’. ‘No’ I said. ‘I’m looking for Kacey’. His tracking device told me he was somewhere in the South Pacific. I swam with a smile on my face, but I still wondered if it was really all I’m looking for.

this took a really long time to load

I’m kind of taking that as a sign that I shouldn’t really write anything. It’s been a long time though. Unfortunately I don’t really have anything interesting to say. My new favorite gas station = sheetz. Best place ever. WAY better than QT. I’m starting to really regret going to a liberal arts school. Sitting through worthless classes like literature and geology really don’t help my mood. I guess when I was confusedly teenage hazedly making my way through the college search process I had yet to realize I was a square bitter conservative hell-bent on making money and doing..well…not much else. Plus I’ve never really thought of myself as trade school material. I feel like those are for people who are serious about their work but they also don’t really like having much fun. Plus it’s probably for the best because if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the course of this recession it’s this: no matter what you major in, no matter what career you choose, no matter how driven you are to accomplish one specific thing…there are no guarantees that you’ll make money. Universal circumstances have a tendency to affect even the people who thought they were set for life. Depending on how bad this socialism thing gets I may not get to choose what I want to do at all. (I doubt it’ll get that bad.) It sure would be nice to have a constant in this world though. A back-up plan…a guarantee to fall on in case all other plans fall through….hmm…oh well. I suppose I could always work at sheetz. That place rules. They might make me work nights though. That would suck.

Blah Blah Blah

-Sigh-

So, there are ants all over my room. I think my ant traps helped a little though. We shall see. I am bored. I have a lot to do, but I’m also bored, because I’m lazy. I don’t feel like organizing stuff. I’m watching tv. I had to move a lot of my stuff from my room to the hallway because there were ants all over it. Anyway, I start work tomorrow. Whoop. Not. I have a feeling I’ll be extremely bored. Who the hell is on campus now? No one, that’s who. And I have to pick up my parking decal. And I have to complain about the ants. …ahh…

An Extraction (continued)

3

Spreading out a blanket near the edge of the water, Sophia lay down and looked up at the sky. Something wasn’t right about it. It wasn’t blue, it was white and gray, but there were no distinct traces of clouds. It was eerie, but the thickness of the humidity was comforting, wrapping her in a blanket of moisture. She spotted a blue bird sitting up in a tree, pecking its beak outward, jumping from branch to branch. She wondered where its family was, if it even had one. What does it do all day? She imagined it living in a large nest with plenty of amenities necessary for a bird: a small fountain trickling fresh water, a refrigerator full of worms, and a warm comfortable bed of straw. Waking up each day on a search for more worms so running out is never and issue. How did her mind get here? Sophia sat up and realized how easily she gets distracted each day from what she knows she should be focusing on. A sudden urge to escape the heat tempted her to step into the water, clutching the muddy twigs in between her toes. The water was shockingly cold, but it bubbled on the heat of her skin as she waded further into the river. The soggy algae flossed between her toes, getting caught and often dancing with the displacement of the water. With the waters as still as they are, it’s not difficult to sense when something else is nearby. Sophia spread her body across the water, letting her ears submerge, listening to the vibrations of the water, allowing herself to believe she is something bigger than the world. Gradually, the vibrations and ripples became more frequent and violent. The water moved from her ear to her eye back to her neck—something was there. Even if it wasn’t close by, something else had just occupied this murky premise. Sophia envisioned a lowly fish, gently swimming beneath her, grazing the bare skin of her back. Yet, there was no fish. No animal could bear to live in the murky waters of the Missouri River, not in this area of town.

“Hi.” A young man appeared nearly fifty yards from Sophia, treading water, very pale from the water’s frigid depths.

Sophia, assuming she had remained in her imagination, didn’t even flinch. Her eyes remained closed and she said softly, “hello…”

“What was that?” the man swam closer to her.

Sophia, realizing her reality, jumped up out of the water, skimming backwards, utterly startled by the man’s presence.

“Sorry,” he said, “didn’t mean to scare you. I just saw you over here…thought I would come over and say hi….I’m Adam.”

Sophia, catching her breath, said “You’re not Adam.”

Adam looked confused.

“Your name is Adam. You are not Adam, solely.”

“Okay…um…do you live around here?”

“No.” Sophia quickly responded, settling back into her routine of wading through the water. “I’m just here visiting my Aunt. I’m from Chicago.”

“Oh. Well, what’s your name?”

Sophia gave the young man a good, long look, and ascertained that not only was he a young man, he was a young, young man—hardly a teenager. He was very pale and thin, and looked as though he needed some better nourishment.

“Sophia, my name is Sophia.”

Adam smiled. “Do you like trees, Sophia?”

A bit surprised by this strange boy, Sophia began backing out of the water and got out and walked over to her towel. While drying off she looked over at the boy. “Um…sure. Why not.”

Adam could sense her indifference, and, slightly disappointed said, “Well…it was nice to see you. Maybe I’ll catch you around here sometime.”

Sophia nodded, still looking strangely at the boy while trying to remain disinterested. As the boy turned over to swim away, she noticed he was completely naked in the icy waters. She imagined him living alone in these woods, pecking away at the bark on the trees, resting on what little cloth he had left for warmth and clothes. Never a day went by where he didn’t wonder how he’d gotten there, why he was different from others, why he wasn’t more like the other animals that roamed the depths of the forest. She wondered if he’d ever tightly embraced a tree, begging for it to return the favor, desperately hoping that he’d leave a profound imprint in the rungs of the tree’s ancient shape. Even if just by being near the tree, he would hope to gain wisdom from its elderly core, and learn about everything that was there before him, speaking to it, observing it, and slowly grazing his fingers across the rugged bark. Somehow, he knew this was different. He knew this one would have more to offer seeing as it is kind, generous, and experienced.  Sophia wondered if he would ever lie down on his cloth, look up at a bird, and wonder relentlessly about the details of its furnishings. Adam, in possession of the skills necessary to survive, would be a friend of the universe, and Sophia wondered about him still.

WDC

So, as a member of WDC, you can win awards and become a preferred author, and receive all kinds of different reassuring factors that teeter your self-esteem and make you believe you can write well. I’ve been a member for over four years, and I still don’t really feel like I’ve made a dent. I haven’t exactly been as active as I should be, but I get kind of irked when I see preferred authors with tons of awards and a high community recognition rating and then I read some of their portfolio and its like…eh…they’re /okay/, not great. Not only that, but they’ve only been a member for like 2 years. It’s easy to gain gift points I guess, if you spend all day reviewing. Then you can buy merit badges and awards for people, or yourself, I guess. Oh well. You get what you deserve, I suppose.  

Everything You Didn't Need to Know

Basics

Full Name:

Jennifer Leigh Reineck

Single or Taken:

In an Open Relationship w/ myself

Sex:

Female

Birthday:

January 8th, 1990. Same as Elvis.

Sign:

Capricorn, not that I believe in that crap.

Siblings:

Older sister, Amanda!

Eye colour:

BLUE

Shoe size:

Depends. Anywhere from 6 to 7 1/2

Height:

5’4”

Country born:

I’m white and I speak English. The UNITED STATES.

Innie or Outie:

Gross. Innie.

What are you wearing right now:

Black dress pants. yellow and white striped collared polo. leaf necklace.

Where do you live:

I live in Atlanta. I reside in ELON!

Righty or lefty:

Righty. Lefties are weird.

Any pets:

A stupid, retarted, messed up in the head dog.

Where do you work?:

Summer, Kilgannon. School Year, the Campus Shop.

When did you start using Facebook?:

Right after Melissa’s 06-07 New year’s party

How much time do you spend on Facebook a day?:

Too much, too much.

Do you own a cell phone?:

No. I have a laptop and a facebook account and its 2009 but NO, I don’t have a cell phone.

Do you like to text?:

No. I love it.

Play an instrument?:

I play the field.

Have any Tattoos?:

Tacky.

Relationships

Who are your best friends:

I’m so popular it would take days to list them all.

Do you have a bf or gf?:

I don’t really want one. A fuck buddy would be nice.

Best place to go for a date:

Somewhere where they sell cheesecake and have tinted window seats you can make out agaisnt.

Longest relationship:

These are awfully personal.

Shortest relationship:

I don’t remember. Probably thirty minutes?

Outgoing or introverted?:

Introverted.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?:

…probably.

How many gf/bf have told you they love you?:

Okay I thought this was just like a fun, quirky little quiz not a PERSONAL QUESTIONS quiz.

Have you ever thought you were going to marry someone?:

James Bond.

Are you crushin’ on someone?:

*vomits*

Are you happier single or in a relationship?:

I don’t like to be tied down. *winks*

Have you ever been cheated on?:

in a way

Have yo uever been with someone who was taken at the time?:

how should I know? its not like I ask everyone I——nvm.

Have you ever had your heart broken?:

Yes. The other day I went to Jake’s and they were OUT of my favorite ice cream flavor. OUT. *cries*

Have you ever broken someones heart?:

only a couple times a day. I dont do it fo free, neitha

Do you talk to any of your ex’s?:

….-sigh-…sure

Do you believe that you are a good bf/gf?:

Honestly? Honestly I don’t really care.

Have you dated people who were not good for you?:

probably

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?:

WTF. This isn’t Moury.

Have you ever dated someone older than you?:

probably

How about younger than you?:

probably

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?:

yes

Believe in love at first sight?:

With cheesecake? YES.

Ever been given an engagement ring?:

I get proposed to like, at least 3x a day.

Do you want to get married?:

To a yacht? Yes, yes I would very much like to marry a yacht. We would be very happy together.

Ever stolen someone’s bf or gf?:

mmhmmmmmmmmm

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?:

… wha?

Is your gf/bf the most amazing person?:

who made up these questions?

Favorites

Favorite kind of pants:

cargo…or sweat

Favorite Number:

12

Boys Name:

James

Girls Name:

Sophia

Animal:

Monkey

Drink:

Tourist’s Sunburn

Sport:

Baketball

Fast-Food Place:

F2O

Month:

June

Band:

Stereophonics

Movie:

The Silence of the Lambs

Breakfast:

Eggs ‘n Potatoes

Perfume:

Victoria Secret’s Love Spell

Cologne:

Nivea for men

Favourite cartoon character:

that brown coyote that runs real fast

Color:

green

Food:

pasta

Ice Cream?:

jake’s

Shoes:

flip-flops

Place to relax:

bed

Magazine:

real simple

Person to hang out with:

that’s mean

Place to go on the weekends:

sandys, west end, parties

Thing to wear to bed:

birthday suit

Time to shower:

after i work out

TV show:

Arrested Deveopment

Season:

Summer

Holiday:

New Year’s

Smell:

Chlorine

Perfume/cologne:

you already asked this…

Memory:

yeah right

Book:

I hate books

Thing about the opposite sex:

arms

Cereal:

hmm….cocoa krispies?

Have You Ever

Given anyone a bath:

hahaha

Smoked:

yeah

Bungee Jumped:

no

Made yourself throw-up:

no

Gone skinny dipping:

YES

Put your tongue on a frozen pole:

no

Broken a bone:

no

Played truth or dare:

yes

Been in a physical fight:

yes

Been in a police car:

no

Come close to dying:

no

Been in a sauna:

yes

Been in a hot tub:

yes

Fallen asleep in school:

yes

Ran away:

tried

Broken someone’s heart:

mmhmm

Cried when someone died:

duh

Flashed someone:

yup

Cried in school:

yup

Fell off your chair:

yup

Sat by the phone all night waiting for a call:

hahah NO

Saved MSN conversations:

wtf…no

Saved e-mails:

yes. I like to save the sexual ones so I can read them over later.

Made out with just a friend:

probably

Used someone:

mmhmm

Been cheated on?:

probably

Done something you regret?:

duh

Stolen Anything:

yup

Been drunk before noon:

YES

Had sex in a public place:

mmhmmm

Got caught telling a lie:

DUH

Got a speeding ticket?:

no

Littered?:

yes

Fantasized about a co-worker?:

hahahahahahahaha yeah

Cheated on a test:

glanced over…

Cheated in a relationship?:

probably

Failed a class?:

almost

Screened your phone calls?:

duh

Eaten food off the floor?:

probably

Cried during a movie:

yeah

Had a one night stand:

duh. what generation are you from?

What is

Your good luck charm:

cheesy!

Best song you ever heard:

impossible

Stupidest thing you have ever done:

tried to drunkenly hide from the cops while I was wearing glowsticks. (face palm)

What’s your room like:

…

Last thing you said:

How was the Tomato Festival??

What is beside you:

water

What shampoo do you use:

dove

Something that has happened to you this year:

got a cheap apt!

Worst thing that has happened to you this year:

getting spit on, called a racist, pushed, glared at, shouted at, and made fun of while I was volunteering at the palin rally

Your body type? :

average

Your skin tone?:

average

Your most missed memory:

childhood

the first thing that comes to mind whhen you hear: Blue?:

eyes

Today’s date:

08/10/09

What is the best grade you’ve ever gotten on an essay:

102

What is the shortest distance between two objects?:

…a straight line…

Your biggest fear?:

drowning

Your happiest moment?:

too many

On your feet?:

???

Misc

Would you eat a live hamster for $1,000,000?:

absolutely not. I’d need at LEAST 1 bil

Would you go to a Manson concert if you had a free ticket?:

probably not

If you were stuck on an island, what people would you want with :

jesse, lol. maybe dorothy. oooh james bond!

If you loved someone and you were keeping something from them an:

that’s not a question

Do you admire anyone?:

daddy

Who is the last person that called you:

melissa

Who was the last person you slow danced with:

wtf how should I know

What makes you laugh the most:

people falling down or tripping

What makes you smile:

…see above

Do you like filling these out:

sort of. it depends on the question. a lot of the questions are stupid

Do you wear contacts or glasses?:

contacts

Do you like yourself:

YES

Do you get along with your family:

mmhmm

Do you have piercings below the waist:

ew

Have you stolen anything over $30?:

it’s possible.

Are you obsessive?:

yes

Are you compulsive?:

yes

Want to have children?:

YES

Do you like mornings?:

mmhmm

Do you enjoy seafood?:

not really

What are you listening to right now:

the hummmm of my computer

What makes you happy:

food. james bond. more food. more james bond.

What did you do yesterday:

packed, went to the gym, watched home videos of myself.

Got any awards:

probably

What car do you wish to have:

the new corvette, blue

Do you want to get married:

want to? no. will I get married? probably. I want kids. I REALLY, REALLY want kids, and they deserve to have a father.

If you could change anything about yourself, what would you chan:

taller…better social skills, lol

Good driver:

yes

Good dancer:

NO. I’m white, mmkay?

Good Singer:

nope

Have a lava lamp:

actually yes. YES I DO!

How many remote controls are in your house:

6. maybe 7 or 8.

Are you double jointed:

ew no

What do you dream about:

having sex with james bond. on top of a cheesecake. in the middle of winter.

Last time you showered:

10 weeks ago

The last movie you saw at the theatres:

Bruno. AWFUL.

Scary or happy movies:

happy

Root beer or Dr. Pepper:

Dr. Pepper motherfucker, wtf is wrong with you??

Mud or Jell-O wrestling:

FESTIVUS. (mud)

Vanilla or chocolate:

chocolate

Skiing or Boarding:

skiing

Summer or winter:

summer

Silver or Gold:

silver

Diamond or pearl:

diamond

Sunset or Sunrise:

sunrise

Sprite or 7up:

meh

Orange juice or apple juice:

meh

Cats or dogs:

dogs

Coffee or tea:

coffee

Phone or in person:

in person

Oldest, middle, youngest or only child:

youngest

Indoor or Outdoor:

indoor

Describe Yourself In One Word:

gorgeous

What’s your biggest fear?:

drowning

What’s your biggest mistake?:

quitting cheerleading

Your proudest accomplishment:

getting into college, my writing, etc.

#1 Priority in your life:

finding a job that I enjoy, saving up enough to get a small but livable yacht, living on the yacht with a cockapoo on a marina in ft. lauderdale and boating to my job in miami everyday.

Dream job:

lawyer

Causes you believe in:

HA! lol. Social and environmental causes should be at the BOTTOM of our country’s to-do list right now, but I do think that gay people should be allowed to get married. I mean, c’mon…really? why not?

Special talents:

…my ear is super flexible

Where are you right now?:

work…lol

Where would you rather be?:

at home

Famous person you’d like to meet:

JAMES BOND

Place to visit before you die:

Hawaii

Song to be played at your funeral:

wtf do I care I won’t be able to hear it.

Have You…

Had the Chicken pox:

yes

Ever gotten a scar:

mmhmm

Had a broken nose:

no

Had your tonsels removed?:

no

Had ice cream in the morning:

yes

Had to give the heimlich:

no

Dated outside your race?:

dated? no. slept with? yes.

Given a hickey?:

hahahaahaha yeah

Dated your good friend/best friend?:

mmhmm

Sung in the shower?:

…yeah

Spit in someone’s drink?:

…it’s possible?

Dumped someone?:

it’s possible

Opened your Christmas presents early?:

yeah

Peed outside?:

yeah

Seen “The Goonies” more than 10 times?:

…no

Had more than five REAL bf/gf?:

no

Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?:

probably

Ran through the sprinklers naked?:

no, but that sounds like fun

Ate food that fell on the floor?:

probably

Went outside naked?:

yup

Made out with your best friends bf/gf?:

I think so

Mooned somebody?:

probably

Been on stage?:

yup

Made someone cry?:

probably

Been in a parade?:

…no…but that’s a GREAT question! that’s like, the best question so far

Been in a school play?:

yea

Drank beer?:

yeah

Gotten detention?:

no

Been on a plane?:

yes

Been on a cruise?:

yes

Broken into a house?:

yes

Gotten a tattoo?:

no

Gotten piercings?:

yes

Cried so hard you threw up?:

probably

Gotten into a shouting match?:

no?

Been skinny dipping?:

yes

Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?:

spare chinning! yes, yes I have

Laughed so hard it hurt?:

yes

Tripped on your own feet?:

yes

Cried yourself to sleep?:

yes

Cried in public?:

yes

Thrown up in public?:

yes

Lied to your parents?:

DUH

Skipped class?:

yeah

Slept in class?:

yeah

An Extraction

1

Wiping the sweat off her brow, she got out of bed. After splashing cold water over her pale face, pieces of her dream slowly came back to her. Trying to ignore it, she walked into the kitchen, groggy with sleep, rolling her eyes at the sight of an eviction notice slipped under her door. She had thirty days.

Driving alongside the Missouri river in Pierre, the October air was cool. Her left hand hung out the window, fighting the strong wind from the speed of the car. As she sat in an unnamed bar, a few hours passed, gently constricting her blood vessels making her weak and vulnerable with the sting of a hug. She turned her attention to the young bartender. He looked like the type that was clean-cut despite the fact he didn’t want to be. Every morning shaving away the promise of a better career all in the hopes of keeping his present one. Each day for him became an attempt to distill the memories of a violent storm outside the window of a third story apartment, the knocking and bumping sounds in the surrounding rooms often overshot the clap of thunder or a pesky attempt at protection by his grandfather turning up the volume on the tv. Never an explanation. Simply a practice of ignorance. Whether the old man was actually protecting his grandson or simply trying to hear the tv better is a question that still remains unanswered. The fact remains that the little boy still has memories playing back to him in his mind, attempting to share with him urgent news that has since been deeply buried in the dunes of his family history.

Several drinks later, a mysteriously shiny man approched her, urging her to leave. Images of her surroundings were too fuzzy to feel anything but indifference. The man reached into her purse and retrieved her wallet. He pulled out a card and said, “Ah, the Lakeside apartments. Those are nice. Let me take you home. I’m the bartender. We’re closing. We have to leave anyways.” The moon’s reflection on the river nagged at her eyeballs. Sometimes simple gestures become advantageous situations. Her attempt at gratitude for the ride home became pinestraw tattoos on the bare skin of her back. Her mind slipped off again to what the man must be thinking. Grasping at whatever is left of his confidence of safety and stability in the world. Angrily relinquishing his detest for the reality of this raw, sexual nature. Confused and offended by the thickness of her indifference, deperately hoping that this time, this girl, this place, will somehow make it different, make him feel in control.

Memories are too difficult to recall when they leave only a faint scar. Now, he was gone, nowhere to be found. Comfort. Relief. Slowly she sat up, her head heavy from drunkenness and fatigue. She was thankful that she had somehow made it to her apartment instead of being found as a bug-eaten half-naked portrait for early-morning trailrunners to take pleasure in viewing. The stench of alcohol and sex and cigarette smoke was overwhelming. She walked into the kitchen and discovered the day old eviction notice. Twenty-nine days. The fridge housed a few glasses worth of orange juice, sweet tea, and some old cheese. Slipping on the day’s newspaper, she read the print now tattooed on her foot. “Flo’s Fantastic Flowers” was in need of a gardener. No experience necessary. Talk about alliteration. Gay words and sing-songy titles most likely paired together to mask the dreariness of the location’s reality. What a name. She could just picture the annoyingly positive and upbeat owner, constantly smiling, bent on a newfound love of life after a recent accident threatened to tear away every experiential capability is has to offer. It would be disgusting if it were real. Merely an attempt to stay in business.

“Oh! You’re early!” A plump, flushed, bouncy woman popped her head from behind the main entrance to the store, wearing a smile of pure delight. Gross. Just as she suspected. She imagined the look of horror on Flo’s face as she was being ripped from the safety of life’s bubble, being torn from innocence possibly exposed to evil offerings of stale sexual favors.

A few minutes later she came back, taking a seat. “Hi! I’m Flo. It’s nice to meet you. Your resume?”
She handed Flo the form, watching carefully to see the expressions on her face as she reviewed its mediocre content.
But Flo was not real. Sitting day by day watching flowers die, stuffing her fat face with twinkies in the back room while watching re-runs of Saved by the Bell on an analog tv, in a misguided attempt to fill some hole dug up in her heart by the doings of a bored high-school bully. Eventually, she would liken herself to each character, pulling pieces from each personality, creating a broken and disturbing mirage of fantasy prep, living out a life of a recreated past.
Finally, she spoke. “Sophia Isabelle Newton.”
“That’s my name.” she stated with shame.
“Hmm…” her tone was not promising. “Very…interesting. Why is it exactly that you want to work here at Flo’s?”
“Well, I need the money.” As if there would actually be a real reason. “And, um……..I love flowers? They’re pretty….and I used to help my mother in the garden when I was younger. We would grow vegetables and we even had an apple tree, and we had a whole courtyard full of flowers. My personal favorite were the red roses.”
“Hmm…” Flo looked down once again at her resume and sighed. “So um…what happened with your last job again?”
“Well, I was in interest writer for the Pierre Capital Journal, but…there was a, um, definitive conflict of interest among the team there that I, um, chose not to be a part of.”
Talk about bullshit. To sit back and knowingly be judged by an innertube who grows flowers and pathetic fake personas for a living…the only weapon of retaliation at her disposal was her own conclusions about Flo’s private life. Alone. Except for the flowers. Alone except for the always upbeat adjective and occasional adverb put to use labeling nouns never meant to be described.

2

The boardwalk was a horrible place for an open market. The stench of the dirty water and dead fish hung in the humid air and sunk into the skin of the fruit, ruining its taste, sickening the ignorant shoppers. Sophia clicked her heels along the wooden planks, occasionally tapping a nail sending a distinctive and signatory ring throughout the grey summer air. Physically, Flo was far behind, but the desperate cries of her pathetic life were still angrily ringing out towards Sophia, getting quieter and quieter with each step. Sophia was walking slowly away from this, gradually skipping away from that mindset.

She never bought anything at the market. Part of this was due to her inexplicable hatred for fruit. Anything bitter or sour tasting reminded her of bad news, flashing threats and harsh yelling, though simple memories, were still unsettling, and made any attempt at a healthy relaxing snack time nearly impossible. As time went on these flashing memories became more distinct, drawing on specific experiences and causing her to tremble within the reality of it all. Still, the pretty colors of the fruit and the angry looks of the unsuccessful vendor drew her back there from time to time, mostly to watch the people who actually buy the fruit: the careful manner in which he handles the fruit, treating it like an infant or a small glass figurine, cautiously inspecting each corner, looking out for bruises or scratches or bugs. Pulling it towards his nose, drawing a deep breath inward to smell the fresh scents it has to offer, but quickly turning away upon recognizing the lake’s dirty water stench.

Sophia wondered why, even after this experience, this man would choose to buy the fruit. He needs to fulfill some sort of longing for a “found treasure”—something he got on his own without the modern-day convenience of a grocery store. He would excitedly approach his wife at the front door, planting a kiss, handing her the fruit-bearing brown bag, and comparing its meaningful symbolism to her belly. His wife would look up at him, never knowing he was capable of saying something so contrived, but appreciating the fact that he’s trying, this time, he’s actually trying. She would smile knowing that the next morning when she is wiping vomit off of her lips and staring at her pale face in the bathroom mirror, her ears are turning red and her husband is in the city comparing the soft sky blue to her eyes or the pink wedding cake to her nipples or the long wooden planks to her fingers.

Maybe this man just needs fruit, and the grocery store with the untainted fruit is not on the way home.

Suddenly he spotted Sophia, and their eye-contact broke her out of her daze. The man was troubled by her staring and went to the counter to pay for his fruit. Embarrassed, Sophia entered the market with red cheeks, and was unknowingly being reminded of the flushed pregnant woman with red ears waiting at home for her husband. Sophia’s fingers skipped daintily over an orange, its scent begging her to feel disgusted by her dislike for citrus and the universal dislike for dead fish. To save face, Sophia remained in the market for a few minutes after the man left, mainly to avoid the possibility of running into him again and disturbing him even further. As she was beginning to make her way out of the area, she heard a great sigh of disappointment, and then a frustrated voice from behind her say, “Why you leave?”

When Sophia turned around, she saw a young man in China begging his father not to make him go. He knew he just wasn’t born with the skill that would allow him to survive at such a tough school. Still, his father was convinced he had been raised in a strict enough environment that it had somehow trained him to be smarter that he naturally is. Cheung Wei wanted to escape his father but being sent to an even harsher academic environment was almost less freedom, it was just his father’s way of controlling him from across an ocean. When he ultimately and inevitably failed, Mr. Wei felt that cutting the cord that attached his father to him would be the most appealing thing to do, even if it meant succumbing to the harsh realities of the “land of opportunity”. He always wondered why the boardwalk space was so cheap to rent. He also wondered why no one bought his fruit, freshly grown in his huge garden outside the city. Every time someone walked out of his market, the more his subconscious told him to face facts and go back to China. He kept staring out into the river waiting for the dorsal fin of a shark to break the surface of the water, signifying the danger that lurks below. The calm water quietly danced in the setting sun, mocking him, telling him, “No, not here. Not in South Dakota. You wish. You only wish this water meant death.”

“It’s the smell.” Sophia, now knowing more about him, was more comfortable speaking to him and took a few steps closer as she broke the news. Upon receiving confused looks from Mr. Wei, she explained further. “That rotten smell from the river, it seeps into your market and it affects the way the fruit tastes.”
Mr. Wei walked over to the lemon stand, picked up a lemon, and drew in a deep breath.

Sophia looked guilty. “It’s not that strong of a smell, but I think it affects the taste of the fruit ever so slightly and that’s why picky shoppers don’t buy it.”

Mr. Wei looked up at Sophia, and gave a tiny smile with a look of realization in his eyes.